Half a man

I was happily watching football yesterday when a commercial came on that surprised me. You know, the one that has a smiling Charlie Sheen driving a sleek convertible, bumping into a smiling Michael Jordan, who then talk about the wonders of Hanes underwear.



Of course, what surprised me about it was that it was on at all.

Because Charlie Sheen was -- yet again -- arrested this past weekend for domestic abuse, and something else interesting called "menacing." Not exactly sure what that means, but it doesn't sound like much fun.

And today's paper contains yet more details about his latest brush with the law. If the story is to be believed, in this instance there was some sort of weapon involved. Perhaps that's where the menacing comes in.

Now, I don't know Charlie Sheen except what I've read about him. I do recall some of the tawdry details of his breakup with his first wife, the cute-as-a-button Denise Richards.

Maybe he's just unlucky. Maybe he attracts women that falsely charge him with assault.

But what strikes me most curious about this is that we're not seeing Tiger Woods smiling face on the television at the moment, and all he did was make love to women. Many, many women. But to my knowledge, he never hit any of them.

Would it surprise anyone if Sheen's violence were to escalate to something even more "menacing." We've seen this before, haven't we? Way I remember it, it ends on a blood-drenched doorstep in Brentwood.

But in the meantime . . . check out the new Hanes boxer-briefs. If Charlie is to be believed, they don't ride up your leg.

And that's what's really important, isn't it?